Overcast, productive, gloomly with a chance of withering Flowers

Spent the day working on the plaster and balloons, Karl assisted me removing the balloons from the plaster, but other than that I was alone all day in the plaster room.

I managed to do around 4 intake yet cracked balloons and left 4 drying, so I did well. the issue I now see is the card I use has plaster on it and looks grubby. So I have to think of a way of taking a viewers eye away from that, or cover it some how, but I do like the vulnerable nature of them.. I am hoping the next few days I can focus more on presentation.

Moods still slipping down, It has been for a few days now.  if I am honest, it is the reason I am kind of wanting to complete this task. I do not want to give up at this stage, but if I get too down, I know I will have bed days and hide from this tiny ugly world, which could set me back. I am aware, I have plenty of materiel for the exhibition, but I want to make sure, I have  the right material. Anyway I spent some time with student support today because of my mood... Did not help lift my mood, but helped me hold back on some of my thoughts before actions so to speak.  

I also got my report from college regarding being dyspraxic, this is for my funding for uni. but god it makes me look a bit dim.( I should note, it not the report that makes me look dim, its my results).. which I know I am not great at English etc, in fact anyone one reading this will see from my spelling etc.


This song some up my feelings today, I am not down regarding my work, its me, its everything, its nothing... .

"Flower"

Turn the ugly light off god

Wanna feel the night

Everyday it shines down on me

Don't you think that i see

Don't you think that i see what it's all about   

Hard to look the other way

While the world passes me by

And everyone is trying to bum me out

It's a pretty big world god

And i am awful small

Everyday they rain down on me

Flower in a hailstorm

Flower in a hailstorm

I'm living for the drought

I could throw it back at them

But then i play their game

Everyone is trying to bum me out

When i came into this world they slapped me

And everyday since then i'm slapped again

Tomorrow's king: an unsightly coward

You see, i know i'm gonna win

Turn the ugly light off god

Don't wanna see my face

Everyday it will betray me

Don't you think that i know

Don't you think that i know

What they're talking about

If they step on me tonight

They're gonna pay someday

Everyone is trying to bum me out