Drug ABUSE

Still On my rapid cycle express...

But I have been thinking more and more about vulnerability and fragility. Before my move to the US I worked a lot with families that were involved in Anti social behaviour, as well as the homeless. The main theme I came across was substance abuse.

Most people would assume that the drugs caused the problems, I would disagree, these people turned to drugs as an escape. self medicating to mask other issues. Every person I dealt with had so many problems that the drugs were the least of their issues..

I guess I am trying to point out is that I don't see drugs as an issue, but more of a symptom of some peoples lives, we are all vulnerable, everyone of use are now a second closer to our own death than we was a second ago.. We a weak, self decaying beings... As humans we use and abuse each other without even blinking an eyelid. its human nature, animal instinct, we live on a tiny ugly world, and people believe they have the god given right to judge others and condemn other peoples actions.... sorry not ranting, just point out that everything has two sides, two points of view at least, and drug issues seemed appropriate to highlight the fact..

Ok Andy Warhol. so many beautiful people fell,(Edie Sedgwick) when they became part of Warhols factor.... 

Celebrities With Bipolar Disorder |What is Bipolar Disorder | Healthline

 Interesting article about famous people who have succeeded despite  being bipolar, although when you read,, u can tell they all were fragile.

Celebrities With Bipolar Disorder |What is Bipolar Disorder | Healthline

Sicky icky Art

Reminds of an installation i saw at the Tate,, whilst most people commented on how disgusting it was,  l Have TO ADMIT I ADMIRED it, it raised questions, was the artist talking about eating disorders, how society makes them feel, or even some weird fetish...  i can't say i like but it does raise interesting questions and that itself makes it worth while.

Time is merely an abstract concept invented by humans to monitor their ongoing decay

Time appears to be my enemy this week. I HAVE MANAGED ONLY 2 DAYS IN THE STUDIO THIS WEEK....  Wednesday was the outing to Liverpool and yesterday, I was Mapping, on my planner I had stated I would have finished my plinth by today.. Over ambitious I think..

I can at times be over ambitious,  whether this is just me or my illness I have not worked out yet. But saying all that I love the saying "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" by Brian Littrell

I know this is not related to my project, The above quote is from  my all time favourite book, a friend give me it when I was 16yrs old and its has not left my side since. I find i can open any pages and find inspiration from it...

Easter Cupcakes Baked in Real Egg Shells ~ Cupcake Project

I AM NOT A HUGE CUP CAKE, CAKE BOSS, TART WAR TYPE PERSON,,, but when you stumble across this and your project your doing is on fragility, it would be wrong not to share it... 


Easter Cupcakes Baked in Real Egg Shells ~ Cupcake Project

How reflective?

OK, I'll give you the brief outline of the day... Went to the Tate in Liverpool, personally I enjoyed a good number of pieces, which I sketched the details into my sketch book.. the ones I liked focused fragility which is a running theme.









 Reflective... I have no idea what's happening with my moods today, I believe I am rapid cycling.. for example, one minute I am major depressed, the next minute  high as a kite.. Today I persuaded my group to eat at the olive garden, knowing full and well I had very little funds for the next few weeks..  (trigger warning sorry)Now the brutal honesty of my illness, You know your not quite keeping in balance when your partner has to smashes the bathroom door down, to remove a knife from your hand.I was so suicidal, at that moment, I hated life, the pressure of doing my FMP, taking my dog out, arranging her a vet visit, calling the kids, my nan, calling in to super drugs for tampons for my partner, taking the rubbish out.. you know everyday task took there toil on me today and I could not handle any more at that moment in time... i guess that is the reality of my illness, the extremes in my moods..

I am grand now.. back to level ground for the time being...But its the above that also drives me forward 


Seems fitting then that i highlight the above piece by  Deidre DeFranceaux
which is one of many pieces titled Rapid cycle 

 Like any great artist, Deidre has used her mishaps and sorrows to inspire her artwork. And like her dynamic, unstoppable, successful creations, she is only deflated for a short time, before blooming, growing, reaching up and expanding again into her true potential. Art is life. And life is survival. And Deidre is a survivor, strong and beautiful and as thought-provoking as her art.— Amacker Bullwinkle, May 17, 2006

Manic monday and yesterdays leftovers.

wow what a productive day..

Using the left over cuts from my profile sculptor (see pic)
I placed 6 or 7 of them together and moulded a thin lay of plaster to the inside..

It was an experiment that went surprising well. Well is the wrong  word, they looked amazing, once i released them from the card that is.(pics to follow)

to me it looked like my silhouette made from fragile shell pieces..It had its own language, rough yet fragile, vulnerable to anything that touches them  I am so pleased with the result. how it will fit into a installation is questionable, because as a single art piece alone it stands out and portrays everything i am trying to say. 

I also bent and shaped card round one of the stencils of my silhouette ( its was bent against the natural grain of the card)

This morning ( Tuesday I went in to release it from the card)... umph nah... does not feel look right to me.. fragile yes but doesn't look like me because the card was so resistant to folding around the stencil... I will try another next time with the gain going the same way and see if it changes the dynamics of it...

I mentioned i casted a few faces, and then using cloth n slip to to see if i could get my face to look fragile.. it did achieve this but again it does not sit right in my mind..I believe i may have used to much slip, that it takes away any features of my faces.

GLYNN WILLIAMS

Pieta

Ancaster Stone

1984,

i am unsure if this shout vulnerability or  in fact safety and security, either way its is a piece that i love 

 "OM is Brahman. OM is all

I am major manicy today.... woooooooooo

thought I'd share this with the world... only slept a bit last night and i have that lovely giddy speedy feeling... meds adjusted to try and bring me down(oh why oh why spoil the fun)

ART ART ART ART..... mmmmm been trying to focus but difficult to stay on the same subjects,, I have however collected heaps of imagines for my video...... so far around 500 imagies, i hope to put the together that the viewer only see them for a milliseconds, to give a small fragment of what racing thoughts are like..

Laurie Anderson O Superman..... 1/ I feel like superman, on top of the world.

                                                       2/ Laurie Anderson, made people take note with this tune. and  i have so much respect for her as an experimental performance artist, composer and musician

                                                      

Patrick Lorea

I love this guys work....  intense, real, raw yet show the fragile nature of our life's

 In the manner of Giacometti or Francis Bacon, Patrick Loréa is not trying, through his sculptures, to create a resemblance. Without lapsing into pure abstraction, these bodies and faces do not belong to a certain place or epoch: they are merely, so to speak, the anonymous supports of a becoming that gnaws at and dispels them. Figures of flesh, carrying on them stigmas of their past lives, no Idea is reflected on their moving forms, but rather something else more subtle and more difficult to name.

By Frédéric-Charles Baitinger, 2011

rewind...

OK remember my profile face sculpture?

Well I have been thinking more and more about the box idea I mention the other day

I also looked a casting boxes( i felt it was not original, i am thinking Rachel Whiteread)

Well I wondered what would it look like cast in plaster, then Karl mentioned the box idea again.. and it clicked, casting the profile heads in the same fashion as the boxes, they should come out broken and fragile... wooo interesting a could be exciting

So my task is to experiment with that idea next week,,,

Other events.....

Howard introduced me to the tec guy in the visual dept... I have arranged a few session with him to look at producing a fast flowing manic video, plus a session filming glass breaking in slow motion.

I also had my final life drawing session. :0( I am quite saddened with that I enjoy it so much and felt it was a valuable session towards my sculptures and help me developed in a more figurative manner 

to Resin or not to Resin?

The usual happened,, Walking the dog, still thinking about the plinth part of my project.... I was wondering how i could cast it in clear resin... So came back and read up on the process and watched a few clips on line....



interesting website i am marking for future reference

http://glassattic.com/polymer/other_materials.htm

The main stumbling block i can see with this is cost.. for a small 5kg clear water type resin its £29.95, and when your are taking about creating something that stands at least 3 to 4 ft tall, it could seriously have a dint in my pocket... the other problem is that i was looking at clear, it cost more to add colour, which i would have to do, due the the balancing glass....

Anna Leibovitz

On December 8, 1980,  Anna Leibovitz had a photo shoot with John Lennon for Rolling Stone, five hours later he was shot and killed.... I  am not telling you that is the reason i posted this, but it does add to the atmosphere of the photo. when you veiw the picture its screams out that John is fragile and vulnerable... for that fact alone i feel i should make reference

For the portrait Leibovitz imagined that the two would pose together nude. Lennon disrobed, but Ono refused to take off her pants. Leibovitz “was kinda disappointed,” according to Rolling Stone, and so she told Ono to leave her clothes on. “We took one Polaroid,” said Leibovitz, “and the three of us knew it was profound right away.” The resulting portrait shows Lennon nude and curled around a fully clothed Ono

 http://www.pbs.org/wnet/americanmasters/episodes/annie-leibovitz/life-through-a-lens/16/

sound clip

only way I could upload it was to make a video....? Anyway this is me messing around trying to create a manic sound, for my possible video...

IDEAS IDEAS.......

OK my problem is i have far too many ideas... So to help with that i either jot them down or sketch them...

In my head I have a clear plan for my FMP.. which is. a white wall with 4 of my faces expression less(all though its been pointed out that even expressionless is an expression), 4 I then intend to places words in written in white paper over them,,, (meaning the viewer has to look closer at the faces)

In front of that is a plinth. with a piece of glass balanced over the edge.( this is to represent the fragile balancing act of emotions n moods in fact my life)

Playing over the plinth and over the faces is a video of the plinth n glass, with the glass falling and breaking and it the reverses in a continuing loop...

the sound playing will be a messed up noise of anxiety, emotions and humour. 

Ok you got the idea?

Here are a few things i have been looking at..

1/ the plinth.. Do i keep it plain.. Nah,, so like i have mentioned i have been looking at plaster and how to make it appear fragile... The bubble effect is not working as i mentioned, blowing air in to setting plaster has little or no effect... baking power, although impressive reaction with the plaster is still leaves no visible bubbles..  Finally i tried ice( see pics)


 what a waste of time, i would have imagined the heat from the setting plaster would have melted the ice,, to b honest it had little effect on the ice.. what the ice did achieve was a very slow setting process for the plaster and a lot of excess water.. back to the drawing board wth this one... 

I also looked a casting boxes( i felt it was not original, i am thinking Rachel Whiteread)

One thing i would like to do is cast a plinth with a number of my faces looking into the plinth rather than outwards... mmmm might look in to that..